Growing

My sister called me tonight.  She brought up how her husband has been working Saturdays for a while now, leaving him with only one day off a week.  I immediately thought to a few years back when I would have listened to someone tell me something like this and as much as I hate to admit it, it would really bother me.  Being in the construction field, David's jobs almost always require him to work over 40 hours a week.  Sometimes his jobs have required him to go out of state which means he is only home on the weekends.  Up until 2 weeks ago, the job he is currently on has required him to leave our house at 6:30 a.m. and is usually home around the same time; only in the p.m.  Now he is working 10 to 10 which is pretty much the same except a lot less time with his children because of the time of day it falls on.  Now, add earning a Master's degree on top of that as well as callings. There have been plenty of times in our marriage that I have felt like a single mother and would unfortunately, secretly get irritated at those wives that complained about not seeing their husbands when they obviously didn't compare to what I was going through.  It really is horrible to admit all this but I want to remember how I used to feel so I can always remember how I feel now. 

There are two important things I have learned.  1.  Be careful about calling yourself a single mother or comparing yourself to a widow.  You just might offend those that actually are.  At least you have someone to cuddle with at night or have someone to call, Skype, or write when you are feeling your lowest.  2.  This may sound contradicting to number 1 but.....Never judge those who really do feel like they are a single mother or widow.  Another's feelings are valid whether we understand them or not. 

So back to what I contemplated back on after speaking with my sister.  I started thinking of her situation.  Raising 4 children in a small town with not a lot to do and having less time with her husband, when she probably needs support or just a break.  I thought of a friend that does so much for her 5 children and all the others she takes care of while her husband is gone on business trips.  I thought of my friends that actually are single parents.  I thought of my friends that don't have very involved spouses with their children and how hard that must be to raise children without help.  But what came to my mind that I wanted to remember the most was that whatever the situation, they are truly hard for that person.  I don't want to ever judge a person again for what they truly feel.