Wednesday, March 1, 2017


 I find this picture describing my life lately.
A little bit of chaos but mostly just exhausted from cleaning up the chaos.  And I don't just mean cleaning up after Ruger.  I seem to be doing that well actually.  In fact, I took this picture to show a friend that my house isn't always clean.  I did this because she came over one day, during Ruger's nap, and what she saw was a completely cleaned up house.  But what she didn't know is that THIS is what it looks like when Ruger is awake! 

I sent her this picture to show her what the house normally looks like when Ruger is in his Category 5 hurricane level.  Which reminds me of a few Sundays ago.  I went into the library at church to say hi to a friend before I needed to get to class.  She asked me how my little hurricane was doing.  I told her that he was actually at home at only tropical storm strength, dealing with croup.  But I had no doubt that he would be at category 5 strength before we knew it!

And just like I am getting distracted with other stories, other than the real reason I got on to journal...well, that is my life!  Like this picture.  A little bit of chaos from the outside but mainly just exhausted mentally and physically.  Because I easily get distracted.

I have the most active toddler that I have ever been around.  Literally.  I have sooooo many stories that I could share.  But I would just look like a bad parent if I did that.  You that one time that he found a knife (nope, can't even leave a knife in the sink where you are positive that he couldn't reach.  Because, trust me, he can!) 

And then I have these older kids.  I just worry about Ruger staying alive.  It's physical.  All.  Day.  Long.  But with the older boys, I worry in my head.  Hyrum, its weekly physical therapy (for his toe walking) and occupational therapy (for his ADD) and trying to make sure that he is applying it in his everyday life.  Brigham, its worrying about him adjusting to junior high and him not handling well all that he is being exposed to.  I worry the most about this.  A lot.   Levi, it's him turing in his homework (but really, if that is all I have to worry about with him, I'll take it!).  

I'm taking this parenting class that the elementary school is providing and it is so interesting to me all these stages these moms are in.  But I'm the only one that is in toddler, child, and teenager stage.  It is a weird stage to be in.  It really is.  And it's exhausting.

But then I have moments like these.
Or I just need a break and find a picture like this on my phone just when I need it!
Or those precious moments when the boys are taking care of each other.  

Which makes it a lot easier to do a simple homemade Valentine's gift for Hyrum's classmates; knowing that Ruger just might not harm himself or someone else if I'm gone for just a little bit doing something else.

And then I go to bed feeling like maybe I'm doing alright after all.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Should I title this, "For The Love of Ramen Noodles?"

I wish I had something awesomely amazing to journal about.  But the past bit has been the typical early months of a new year in winter.  Nothing real bad or terribly exciting.  Just trying to stay away from sicknesses and enjoying the snow.  But since it has been almost a month since I've journaled anything, maybe I'll share a few pictures.
Ruger got to participate in a "preschool" type setting  that Maddie had in one of her classes.  It was all in one classroom, for about 30 minutes, for 2 days.  They had little stations but as you can imagine, for Ruger it was just him running from one place to the next...literally.  The boys in the class thought he was the coolest kid (and they vocally said so on more than one occasion).  They tried to get his attention over and over but Ruger was just in his own little world discovering new things.  Well, he made time for Maddie.  Because it's Maddie.

Speaking of Maddie.  I usually pick up the older boys from school.  It is a bit of a walk home and in the snow and ice, well, I'd rather pick them up.  With Ruger and I in the van, it only leaves room for 5 other seats.  Obviously Levi and Brigham will have a seat.  And Clayson is Brigham's best friend....and Maddie's my favorite....sooooo it only leaves room for one other kid.  I have to set aside "times" for the other kids to get a ride home.  I have up to 5 kids asking for that extra seat every time I pick up.  

Well, Maddie gets the seat next to Ruger.  Every time.  One day the extra seat was for Quincy.  He was the first to make it to the car, got in, and sat down in Maddie's seat.  Oh, I wish I could have gotten the look, in picture, of Ruger's nasty look he gave Quincy!  Then he tried to hit him and kept saying, "A Maa, A Maa!"  Finally, Quincy got up and got in the back.

Peggy and I had a night out with dinner and a fancy-shmancy orchestra concert. 
Ruger has had croup TWICE this year already.
Hence, Daddy giving in to him and letting him eat Ramen noodles straight out of the package...yeah, pretty sure the "nutrients" found in Ramen noodles aren't helping.

Which makes me think of one of my old roommates.  I was living in Utah when my Mom came out for a surgery I was having.  One day she walked into the kitchen and saw my roommate, Mary Beth, eating uncooked Ramen noodles.  My mom said to her, "Honey, I'll gladly cook you dinner!"  Hahahahaha!  Mary Beth laughed and assured her that she liked eating them uncooked.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Hyrum and Ruger

Some friends from church gave Ruger this car bed a while ago.  A few nights ago is when we finally put him in there to sleep.
 And this is what we found!  A trashed room and him asleep on the floor.
 Since Christmas, not much of our snow has melted.  So each time it snows and Daddy/the boys have to shovel, it just stacks up and up.  This hill here is just a few inches below the height of David's truck.
 Hyrum has gotten the most use out of it.  Well, other than the kids walking home from school.  Its fun having the curtains pulled back while watching the elementary school kids (walking home) climb up and down our little hill.  It's like they just can't resist it.

 The other day I had fixed Ruger a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I put him in the high chair next to me in the kitchen, while I was getting other things ready, so that I could watch him.  Well, because he likes to throw his food and play with it...
Obviously, I wasn't paying close enough attention.

Monday, January 2, 2017

What A Way To Start A New Year!

 New Year's Eve was on a Saturday and never was I so grateful for be switching to 1:00 p.m. church!  

Later on New Year's Day we had a wonderful gift.  The Steele family came to visit!  Towards the end of church my head started to pound, my vision went blurry, and briefly my hearing was muffled.  A part of me wondered how well I would do with company but I'm so glad they came.  I really am.  They were like a pill I needed to get out of my funk.
 Like Ruger always does, he warmed up super quick. Add food to the mix and he was fast friends with these Jake and Elizabeth look alikes.
 Maybe its because I grew up with her but I can see her in all her kids.  I can see her siblings too.  I couldn't help but think of April throughout the visit.  Her and Elizabeth growing up were so fun to be around.  So full of life and happiness.
I love this picture!  Elizabeth married a soul like!  He is a seminary teacher but you would never guess it.  Well, you would if you knew his spiritual strength, I'm sure.  But he can play around just like anyone else.  He even gave Levi permission to pick any of his older daughters that he would like.  We almost had a dowry set up by the time they left....

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Let's end this year with pictures!

I thought I would put some pictures on here that I found on my phone before the year ends.
It is very hard to get an actual smiling picture from the 2 older boys.
This picture of them after haircuts is a little more natural.
Ruger has had a couple of haircuts but this time he got the "short" cut.  He sat still as long as he had that sucker in his mouth.
Ruger met Santa, but most importantly he got a candy cane so that he would sit still long enough for me to take a picture.  As you can see, food is very important to this little boy.  He lovingly calls food "a-mun-a."  We still haven't figured out where that came from.
Hyrum had a choir performance.
He and his best friend, Brooklyn, had to pose for pictures afterwards.
Nanny and Poppy read on the blog that Ruger didn't like being in his high chair so look what surprise we got in the mail today?!  

I want to end this with a little end of the year gratitude.  

I'm truly grateful for my blessings.  They are hard to see sometimes.  That is the reality of life.  You know how I wrote about my rash a few months ago?  It's been a battle.  I've had new things pop up, like sores in my mouth and on my tongue that I literally could not eat solid food for days with.  Random bruises that just popped up out of nowhere.  So tired.  Headaches and blurred vision.  There were times when I worried and times that I was just tired of it all.  But David was so kind through the whole thing.  Doing his best to take care of me.  And the boys helped with Ruger so much.  I was just so exhausted most of the time.  So even though it has been a rough few months, I can't deny the blessings that I was able to see once I looked for them.  I pray that I continue to do that this coming year.  I may not be able to control what is going on with my body right now but I can control the amount of emotional drama I put out for others to have to deal with.

I'm also grateful for extended family that continue to show love for us.  Little things like the seat for Ruger to sit with us at the table was sent because my parents read this blog.  I know my grandparents and Uncle read it faithfully.  I think that Grandma and Grandpa Adams do too.  I know they used to.  Grateful for random funny texts from April.  I miss her.  We all communicate in different ways and that is ok.  I'm not a big phone person but I try to send mail.  I keep this updated.  So I'm really grateful for things like this blog that keeps family connected.  

I'm grateful to hear my children laugh and talk.  Really talk to each other.  Usually silly things but I'll take it!  I love seeing Levi pick up Ruger and take him downstairs with him without me asking him to play with him.  I love the vents in our house that makes it easy to hear Levi and Brigham laugh at night right before they fall asleep (And man, does Levi have a deep voice!  It sounds almost like the TV is on downstairs.  You know, that sound that you feel in the walls?  Yeah, that's it.).  I'm grateful to see Brigham randomly show something to Hyrum on his phone and them just cracking up like its the funniest thing they have ever seen.  I'm grateful for Ruger's random kisses and when he actually says, "Mom!" Because we all know it is usually "Da" or "Brudder."

I am so incredibly grateful that David still loves me.  I am nothing like what he married 15 years ago.  For that I am grateful and sorry.  Grateful I have had the many opportunities to learn things with him.  To love each other through it all.  To witness miracles together and tender moments.  But I'm also sorry I don't give as much to him as he does me.  I do try.  Some people just serve others better.  I do random things for others without being asked.  And I do likewise with David but he just seems to be better at it.  So sincere.  I'm truly grateful for that.  So grateful for the example that he sets for me and the boys.

I'm grateful to see how much David loves his children.  How time and age have deepened that need to care for them.  To protect.  The need he clearly has for them to understand gospel principles but more importantly that they are safe here in our home.  I am coming to see more and more how important that is because that is when things can be taught and received.  I'm grateful that I had the example of my father to know what to look for in a man.  I'm grateful that he looked to his Father in Heaven as a role model.  I see the same in my husband.  I pray each of my sons do the same.'s to a new year.  A new year to continue to grow, learn, and see many blessings.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Christmas 2016

Christmas Eve came as we enjoyed each others presence and gifts, of course :)
 Grandma and Grandpa wanted to know what to get the boys this year but I suggested that they give them money so that G&G didn't have to pay so much in shipping with gifts.  The boys were a shocked to get to so much money!
I think Brigham's favorite gifts were the headphones and multicolored mouse he got from Nanny and Poppy.
Ruger lasted long enough to open one present before he was off.  Later I found him playing with Nico with a ribbon that was from the one gift that he opened.

I wasn't able to get it in a picture but Uncle Chuck got the boys an XBox One.  They, of course, loved it!  And as always, even his game for it was the biggest hit.

They also got presents form Grandma Helen as well as Grandpa and Grandma Adams.  I'm truly grateful for all the gifts that were sent this Christmas.  It made me think of years past.  Especially while in college.  What family sent was what made the gift giving part of Christmas happen for the boys.  David and I are in a different financial place now but the memory was still there as I watched the boys open all these gifts from afar.
Nanny made each of the boys a blanket.  I kept them in the big boxes that they were sent in so as they were opening them they were excited to find out what they were (being in such a huge box).  I was concerned what the 2 older boys' response would be, well, they are 12 and 14 years old and most their age really don't care about a blanket.  So I warned them that it probably wasn't what they thought they were and secretly was grateful that Nanny wasn't here to watch them open them.  But to my surprise they instantly talked about how soft they were.  David mentioned that Nanny made them herself and that it took a lot of time to do it.  Brigham exclaimed, "Nanny made these?!"  
I was seriously proud of their responses. 
After everyone else's gifts were opened we finally were able to get Ruger to calm down long enough to open the rest of his.
Ruger's favorite show right now is Masha and the Bear and Octonauts.  Nanny and Poppy got him stuffed animals from Masha and the Bear.  Ruger took one look at Bear and said, "Tiddy!"  Tiddy (kitty) is what he calls all animals.  It doesn't matter if its a dog or a horse.  They are all tiddys.  Oh, and all things that fly are bees.
We had to wake up the older boys on Christmas morning because Ruger was awake before them and we wanted them to see Santa's gifts at the same time.  It sure is nice not being woken up super early for Santa.
I think this is Ruger's favorite gift.  MeMaw and Poppy had already decided to get Ruger this before they sent the money and honestly, I'm glad.  He really likes it.
Santa got all the boys one piece pajamas.
Yeah, this was as close as I could get with them all together.
About a week ago, we made gingerbread houses for Family Home Evening.  It has been a daily battle to keep Ruger away from them.
He thinks he is sneaky by hiding under the coffee table, dinner table, and computer stand while trying to eat them.
Christmas dinner was late this year because of church.  Lamar (one of our neighbors) joined us.  We truly enjoyed his presence as he spoke of how the Terrace and the Ogden area used to be.  It was relaxing and just perfect.  

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Levi's 14!

On the 20th Levi turned 14.  My boy who towers over all his guy friends his age.  Funny how some of his "girl" friends are his height but not the boys.  Puberty.  And this kid's neck is killing me.  When did his adams apple get so huge?

But back to his birthday.

We picked up him and his friends from school and brought them back to the house.
 It's so fun to watch the boys grow.  How different they are.  How much I didn't expect things to turn out the way they are.  Like Levi and his "girl" friends.  He invited more girls than he did guys.  Which isn't that surprising now that I watch him.  Every time I pick him and Brigham up from school, Levi is walking with girls.  Every time.  Usually just girls. 
I wanted to get this picture in here too.  I was real proud of Brigham that day.  I know he wanted to go so badly with Levi and his friends (later to the movies) but I needed him to stay home for when Hyrum came home from school.  He was clearly disappointed but he did it without attitude.
 But before they left, we had cake and opened presents.
David, Ruger, and I went to the mall with the kids.  We bought their tickets and told them to behave :)  Then I had to let go of my need for David to go with them (no way am I watching a Star Wars movie!).  David and I stayed at the mall and let Ruger run around.  We ran into some friends from church and before we knew it we were taking kids home.

It was a good birthday for him, I think.  He really seemed to enjoy himself.  It was fun watching him interact with his friends.

He is a good boy.  A real good boy.