Divine Signatures

Have you ever had experiences in life where you have had things line out so perfectly that there was no other way it could have happened other than by the hand of God himself? As if the Lord whispered to you that all of this was done for only you? I just got off the phone with a friend, Tricia, who continues to teach me of my worth and after I relayed to her my experiences of late she brought me to the understanding of the Lord's divine signatures. She is reading a book by Gerald Lund called, "Divine Signatures: The Confirming Hand of the Lord." I was so touched by what she said that I looked it up online and I want to share a quote from the book:

"Sometimes, the Lord sends His blessings in such a highly unusual way, dramatic or precisely timed manner, that it might be likened to a divine signature. It is as though the Lord signs the blessing personally so that we will know with certainty that it comes from him. In doing so, God not only gives His blessing, but at the same He strengthens our faith and deepens our testimony of Him."

Let me share with you some of my experiences of late. It is no secret that moving out here to Oklahoma was a pivotal changing point in our families life. All the events that led up to the move and then after brought our little family to our knees. Quite bitterly I often stated to my husband that I was tired of people telling me that it would be to my benefit later. You know, I have never been that type of person to bear their testimony of how "grateful" they were for adversities in their lives. I have always been that, "No thank you" type of person and would just rather learn from other's mistakes. Well, as it turns out I am grateful for our last 2 years. One of the greatest blessings that came out of this whole ordeal is that David and I understand each other's roles so much better now. I have worked on and off since moving here because of the hard time it has been for David to find a job, and because of this our roles have reversed. I finally understand how hard it is to come home after working and not getting to unwind first. He finally understands of the importance of the many "breaks" that I needed in order to stay sane after being home all day with very active children. There are so many things that we have learned that it would make this post so incredibly long. I love my husband more now than I think I ever have. I know without any hesitation now that my husband would do ANYTHING for me.

So, at the end of last year we had 2 very dear friends, Travis and Sari Payne, of ours from college give us a wonderful gift. They gave us money for Christmas. They were prompted to give us money for reasons they couldn't explain other than that they recently had went through unemployment and bad job situations and was recently blessed with a wonderful new job. We got their card and money and I knew for the first time that things were going to turn around. For some that may not seem like anything special but you have to understand my lack of faith of the Lord helping us anymore. But for some reason, I knew right then that all was going to be well. It has been about 2 months since then and very slowly that something finally started to show its face. David has been offered a job, is in the process of another job prospect and has been given the opportunity of yet another one.

This leads to our children. We have been blessed that our children have never had to go to day care (well, besides staying with Grandma and Grandpa and Mom and Dad at their day care) and it is very important to us that they never go to day care; that they are always with family. So, when taking one of these jobs we have the choice of me staying home or them going to day care. A lot of women of the Church would just know their role and take this as an opportunity to be at home with their children once again. But take into consideration what these last 2 years have been for me. My depression was so horrible that one of the only things that snapped me out of it was my need to go to work to provide for my family. I was forced to put that smile on my face and go on with life. It really turned out to be a saving part of my life. Now, if you could only get a real glimpse of that then you would understand of the fear that I had of being home again. Sure, I did it for years and it was wonderful but have I changed so much that I wonder if I can do that again. Plus, I know that so many will be worried about me and will fear this decision.

So today at church, as I am secretly scared of letting my boss down and telling those close to me that I might be a stay at home mom again, this beautiful lady stands up to speak to us in Sacrament meeting. Sister Mechele Wall begins to tell us of the importance of being a mother who is there for her children. From here on everything falls into perfect place as she retells a story of a woman who had a career and then gave it all up to be home. She tells of this woman who followed what the Lord prompted her to do only to find that it wasn't all sunshine and lollipops! Her kids still struggled. She struggled. But they did it together. The most important part was that in the end, those children that were going the wrong direction before, were not only going in the right path but that they had this strong love for their mother. Something that was not there before. I desperately needed to hear that all would not be perfect. I think we set ourselves up sometimes when we do all that is asked of us to do in the church only to still have disappointments in life.

After her talk I went outside in this dreary weather and just let the Lord speak to me. I have always loved the wind. At that moment I payed real close attention to the wind that was literally circling around me and at that moment I knew it was the Lord telling me that he was all around me. As tears streamed down my face, I knew the Lord was in this decision. David took me home so I could sort through some things. Soon after that he called me from church and told me that he had asked for Sister Wall's notes from her talk. She then wanted to meet me. Before I knew it, she and her husband were walking through my front door to council me. Oh how I love the tender mercies of the Lord!

Brother Wall is a high councilman...but not our high councilman. For some reason ours could not come so he did today. Brother Wall was suppose to bring a returned missionary. For some reason that didn't happen and he decided to bring a missionary instead; his wife. You see, for some time now she has believed that her "mission" is to make sure that she gets her children converted into the church. And as she spoke with me, I soon learned of her hesitation of using the story that so touched my heart. But she kept going back to that story as she was preparing her talk for those of us in the Grove Branch. She knew now that the story was for me.

Later as I expressed these things to Tricia she told me that this was the Lord's divine signature for me right now. He placed everyone of these things for this exact moment. This teaching moment for me. He loves me. I know He does.