1978/2018

David was able to say that he shot and killed his first deer on his 40th birthday!

And then just a few days later he had a full on sinus infection!

Poor guy!  But I love him for being such a good Daddy and playing "Pie Face" on New Years Eve with his boys even if he felt like crap.

He's such a good Dad.  A thoughtful and protective husband.  A spiritual giant.  And everything I always dreamed of getting out of an eternal companion.

Thank you Heavenly Father for putting this man in my pathway.  This alone lets me know that my Father in Heaven really is truly aware of my needs. 

Christmas 2018

There was gingerbread house making at Nanny and Poppy's house on Christmas Eve.

 Certain boys were told they were never to sit together again after their monstrosity of pilled on high goop! 

 While others actually tried!

After having Poppy's hamburgers and reading a children's Christmas book like we do every year, we started in on the presents. 

 Just before we left, the following day, I made sure I got a picture of the 2 best friends cousins!

After Christmas lunch/dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's house we picked up Grandma Helen at the airport.  She will be staying with us for about a week.

17 years!

In a few days we will celebrate David's birthday and our 17th wedding anniversary.  We really try to separate the 2 but it is hard to do sometimes.  With being so close to family, we wanted to take advantage of it while we could so just before Christmas, David and I left the boys with Mom and Dad while we went to Branson, Missouri.

 Our little getaway was supposed to be all about our anniversary but I first wanted to surprise him with Susan Ellis.

 He taught and baptized Susan on his mission almost 20 years ago.  He loved many people on his mission but no one like Susan.  Throughout the years, we have seen her here and there and every time it is so tender to watch them 2 together.  They just love each other so much and I can't help but wonder if they knew each other in the pre-existence.  

It was a complete surprise for David, which was my birthday present to him.  Our trip to Branson was all about our anniverary, but meeting at Lambert's in Ozark, Missouri with Susan and her husband was real important for me to give to him for his birthday.  He turns 40 this year and I wanted him to remember it!

 From there on, we just really enjoyed alone time together.  Eating at Billy Bob's Dairlyland where David said he had one of the best malts of his life.

 Finding a walking/hiking trail.

Riding a self controlled "mountain coaster."

And watching the Dixie Stampede together.

As most people know who have toddlers, you don't get a lot of alone time together so these 2 days were wonderful.  We really enjoyed it being just us.  And I really think it was a trip that we will remember for a while.

My 16 Year Old!

I love this picture that I took of Levi on his 16th birthday.  It shows his youth in his braces and hair.  He always seems to have at lease one ear bud in his ear.  His hoodie here, he bought.  He is always wearing a hoodie!  You wouldn't know he had actual t-shirts because they are always under those hoodies!  And he loves crepes.

 He's got this fun personality that shows in his clothes.  He doesn't even like Ramen Noodles yet he has a joggers outfit in it!

 When we got to Nanny and Poppy's house on the Friday before Christmas, a birthday party was waiting for Elton and Levi.  

 And this is my favorite picture of the night!

While at Mom and Dad's house this last time, Levi was measured.  Sometime while he was 15 he became as tall as his Dad.  I can't believe he is already 6'1!  Time continues to fly and he continues to amaze me.  My tall, funny, easy to make friends son is just as lovable as ever.  I love him and am so grateful for him in my life.  He makes life easy with Ruger and is always willing to help WITHOUT being asked to do so.  Just love him!

Gingerbread Houses

Just like I said in the journal entry before, we always decorate gingerbread houses before Christmas.  It brings back memories of when I was younger and Mom would make homemade gingerbread and then we would decorate houses out of them.

I wish I was little bit like my Mom in that way.  Making more homemade things.  I kinda go through these phases and right now I'm definitely in a phase of just taking the easy way out of things.  I'm hoping that as Ruger gets older, I'll go back to that old part of me.  We'll see.

I was able to catch some happy moments tonight on camera.

 

The fact that I got a picture of Levi not making a weird face was a miracle in itself but also because every other picture of tonight was like the one below....a picture of him eating the frosting!

Watching my family happily get along tonight was a good reminder of how blessed I am.  I have been struggling these last few days with depression.  Not anything huge.  And not anything that I can pinpoint.  But times like tonight happen and through the simpleness of a family gathered around a table decorating gingerbread houses, I can clearly see that I am blessed.  That life is simply good.  And I should take it, embrace it, and be grateful.

Christmas Traditions

We have a few family traditions that we participate in during the month before Christmas.  We do knock and runs (where we make treats or buy them and put them on neighbors front doors.  We then knock and run without leaving a note as to who its from.  But we do usually have a cute poem or something that goes along with it). We open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas day.  We decorate gingerbread houses and if we are in Oklahoma, the children always go to Nanny and Poppys and decorate cookies.

And when it is time to put up Christmas decorations (almost always the Saturday or Sunday after Thanksgiving) we put on Christmas music and just enjoy the laughs!  

 And with a house full of boys, you are going to get weird things put on the tree.  Yes, like toenail clippers!

 Or a random trumpet!

 And then I have my boy who is sensitive to the ways some things feel and has to wear gloves so as to not have to feel the fake needles on the tree (that's a new one for this year).

 By the end of the night, the trumpet had an old picture of Brigham on it.  It actually really made us laugh hard.  David liked it so much, we have kept it up there!  And I can't forget that we always end the night with eggnog.

And I just thought I'd end with a picture of David and I from last Sunday.  I love this man so much!  That's one tradition that will never change.

Someone has a new number!

Little Mr. Ruger has a new number!  Up until this last birthday, he was obsessed with the number 3.  We could easily say that the number 3 was his favorite number (just like his Poppy Beck!).  He would see the number 3 somewhere and yell, "That's my number!"

But now he has a new number!

 We first celebrated his birthday at MeMaw and Poppy's house with his cousin, Spencer.

 I actually really like sharing birthdays with cousins.  I think it is because most of the time, we are not living by cousins to even be able to do this.  So this is special to me.  And even more so that Ruger got to spend it with Spencer.  I say that because it was just a month or so ago that he spent the weekend, alone, with Spencer and his family.  They were so good to him and spoiled him rotten!

 I didn't really get any good pictures of him and his presents but I thought the look on his face in this one said it all!

 When his actual birthday came, our family went to Golden Coral.  I love this picture because of the raspberry that he is making in it.  I am kinda fascinated with the way that people do raspberries.  I know it is weird, but if you look at the way each person does it, they all do it differently with their mouths.  They do!  I'm not crazy!  Well, Ruger is the only person that I know that does it like me!  Both of our top lips go so far up that it almost touches our noses when we make the sound.

 Our "server" brought over a little treat for the birthday boy!

So this boy....where do I start?  He is still the most active child that I have EVER met.  And as much as it is exhausting, I couldn't imagine him any other way now.  I used to dream of him calming down.  Now with him in daycare while I home school Brigham and Hyrum, Ruger seems so much more enjoyable.  He definitely makes me laugh!  

We had a "Linger Longer" after church this last Sunday.  A linger longer is when people bring food for a potluck after church.  You get to sit at tables with friends or new people that you want to get to know better.  Well, Ruger is obsessed with the missionaries right now.  He talks about them a lot.  A few Sundays ago, we were in Sacrament and he started to draw a picture.  All of a sudden he gets up, runs to the missionaries a few rows back and hands them his picture and starts talking to them.  Yes, right in the middle of the meeting!  

So we are at this linger longer and he will not leave us alone about how the missionaries have to sit by us.  They were adorable with him.  One of the guys that was sitting next to us said something about how hard it would be to get mad at someone so energetic like Ruger.  That has come to my mind a few times since then.  That same energy that Brother Lawrence was talking about is what used to drive me nuts about Ruger.  It was exhausting but now I'm seeing more and more how it is infectious.  People just want to be around him.  They really do.

Thankful For Friendship

When we come back to Jay in December I really want to focus on my family as well as David and I anniversary, so I made it a point to see as many friends as I could during our little trip in Jay over Thanksgiving break.

Seemed fitting since I'm incredibly grateful for my life-long friendships that I have with these girls.

Like I was saying in my last entry, I was really struggling with fatigue but the girls did have me laughing at times so that helped a lot.  Or had me remembering how easy it has always been to talk to them.  Once I remembered that, I could relax more and just enjoy the time spent with them.

I've said it so many times before, and I'll say it again, I really do have the greatest friends.  They are good to me.  They love me.  And they support me.

Thanksgiving 2018

Cousins...

 ...cousins...

 ...and more Cousins!

 Annual Turkey Football!

 Poor David had to watch from the sidelines.  He won't be playing football anytime soon with his shoulder.

Poppy lit up the house for the first time that night.

Thanksgiving was wonderful, of course, because so many of us were together for the holiday at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  But I really struggled that day.  I was pretty sure that before we left OKC, that I was dealing with a flare up and by Thanksgiving, I knew it.  I guess now is the time to journal that I have Lupus.

I've known for a few months now and instead of being devastated when the doctor told me that a few of my tests came back positive, I was actually relieved.  Relieved that I finally had an answer.  Relieved that it finally made since why I would get so tired at times, that I could hardly function properly (and that is not an exaggeration).  Relieved that I wasn't just this lazy forgetful person.  Brain fog is a real thing for someone with Lupus.  I was not like this growing up.  In fact, I'm embarrassed to admit this but I used to get mad at my Mom for forgetting a lot of stuff.  I just naturally remembered things back then.  Not anymore.  Both long and short term memory is a problem for me now.  I guess it serves me right for being irritated at something that my Mom couldn't control.  

I'm also relieved to have a little bit of justification in my depression as well, I have to admit.  Or that my excema gets worse with my Lupus flare ups.  Or that I'm just in pain.  That one is hard to explain.  

So Thanksgiving was a little rough on my body, which is always hard on my Spirit.  But I was grateful to be with my family.  This time next year, who knows where we will be, but I'm next to positive it won't be here so again I say, I'm so grateful we got to be with our family.

I'm grateful for the things I've learned about myself recently.  I'm grateful for a patient and loving family.  I'm grateful for second chances.  I'm grateful for patience and grace.