A new chapter in our lives

On Tuesday of last week we received a phone call from our Family Resource Worker that they had a possible placement for our family through Foster Care.  I can't share a lot of information and no pictures at this point (which kills me!) but I can say that he in an infant and the cutest thing in the world to me right now!  We said yes, and took him from the hospital the next day.  I am completely in love and so is my little family.  

Daddy is as attentive as he was with our own children and I appreciate that so much.  Not only for the help but because this baby should feel as if he is a member of our family.  I know he is just an infant but even if we have other placements in the future I never want them to feel like they are invading our home or not welcome.  The best way to make sure that doesn't happen is to make them as if they are a part of our family.

Levi is just amazing with little guy....we'll call him Baby R.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, he has always been good with kids younger than him and I'll never forget bringing Hyrum home from the hospital and my 4 year old Levi bringing Matchbox cars over to him and running them up and down his tiny legs.  He is no different with Baby R, other than now he can do more things with an infant.  He loves to hold him and quite a bit!  The second day after Baby R came home with us, Levi came home from school, held Baby R in his arms and told me that he had a hard time concentrating at school because he kept thinking of Baby R.  Levi sure melts my heart.

Brigham thinks Baby R is cool because he makes "durp" face.  So the boys have an "epic" face and a "durp" face that they make that they think is hilarious.  "Durp" face is when you have one eye straight ahead while the other is looking another way.  Well, Baby R is just like every other baby at this age and gets his eyes like "durp" sometimes.  

I was a little concerned at first of how Hyrum was going to handle Baby R.  Hyrum has been the most excited out of all the boys about Foster Care.  He really wanted a boy his age to stay in his room with him.  I think he was picturing slumber parties every night!  So when I first told the boys about Baby R, he was silent.  That night I went to the store to get Baby R an outfit to come home from the hospital in and found this really soft blue sleeper with Lions on it.  I thought of Hyrum and knew I needed to pick that one.  Hyrum loves super soft things as well as cats so when I showed it to him and told him it was going to be like Baby R's first present from Hyrum he changed.  From then on, he has not worried me one bit about Jealously or disappointment. 

The cats don't know what to think.  When I brought Baby R home, they just sniffed around him but not much else for a while.  Within a few hours I found this...

...which I expected :)

Neve on the other hand has walked around the house meow crying, carrying her string around.  She has this shoe string that I play with her with.  As you can imagine, there is not as much time for her with a newborn.  I know its silly but I do feel a little guilty about that.  I have to find balance to make sure I am still listing to Levi and Brigham, having alone time with Hyrum, and conversations and physical contact with my husband as well as playing with Neve.  This experience has reminded me many times what it was like when I was having my babies.  There is guilt at times (the house is a mess most of the times now and I'm really struggling with getting homemade meals done) but it doesn't last for long.  It's because I haven't just given birth, hurting, and hormonal!  So I give myself so much more credit than I ever did with my 3 pregnancies and during the time while they were little.  

I also am enjoying Baby R so much more than I did my children.  I know that sounds HORRIBLE but let me explain.  I get very depressed when pregnant.  With my first 2 pregnancies, once I gave birth the depression lessoned quite a bit.  However, at this point you are soooooo very tired because of the constant getting up to feed the baby and still try to be wife and homemaker.  I felt so much guilt like I wasn't doing it right during this time in my life.  In no way did David make me feel this way.  I was just hard on myself.  By the time that I had Hyrum the depression escalated big time after I gave birth to him.  And it didn't go away for years.  So here I am now, raising an infant without being hormonal....it is HEAVENLY!  I get to truly enjoy him.  So it is not that I love Baby R more than Levi, Brigham, and Hyrum; I am just not crazy anymore and get to indulge in an experience that is untainted...with a precious, perfect little boy.

So I'll end it on another cat picture.  I found Neve in our Christmas tree the other day.

I posted this picture on Facebook and my favorite response was from a friend that I go to church with.  She said something to the effect that she thinks that all cats believe that we put up Christmas trees for their enjoyment only. 

I think she is right!