Yesterday started off just like any other school day. Got up as late as I could before getting lunches ready for the boys to take to school. Made sure Brigham's hair was brushed and had his allergy medicine. Made sure Hyrum had socks on. Said morning prayers and then was out the door to walk the boys to school. I get back and get my headphones to head out the door, this time to go on my morning walk. But I stop and realize it is September 11th. So I decided to honor the victims of 9/11/2001 by getting online to read some stories. I got on fox.com and saw that they had a live stream of a memorial in New York City. Like so many that were watching, I'm sure, it broke my heart a little. As it became "to much" I turned it off and went on my walk.
Later that morning I was volunteering in Levi's classroom when one of the students reminded Mrs. Guillen that it was 9/11. She stops everyone, before heading out to computer class, to teach them a little about this anniversary. I was quite surprised by the responses of the children. As she asked the 5th graders about this day, most were confused. One child said the Twin Towers were in Italy. Another guessed Paris, France. After some time had passed, someone finally said they were in New York City. At first I was sad that they didn't know this very important piece of our American history. Yes, these kids were born just after the attacks but still; how could they not know? One of the kids asked Mrs. Guillen why we would want to remember such a horrible thing.
It hit me. Did my children know? I realized then that I had done a disservice to my boys by being so protective. I am extremely picky about what I let my children watch. They are not allowed to watch anything above a PG rating. We mainly listen to Christian music in our house. When a school shooting happens, I make sure I am not on the internet searching the news stations for the latest information in front of them.
Case in point...
This summer, the boys were on their DS's linked with our neighbor, Sam, across the sidewalk (we are in our separate townhomes at this point). You can set up the DS so that you are writing back and forth to each other while playing games. All of a sudden I hear Brigham yell out the window for Sam to hear, "Sam, what does f--- mean?" I about jumped out of my skin and yelled over at Sam that he is never to use that word. Now, I am not one to correct other children's parents, especially when he was technically in his own home at the time, but I couldn't stop myself. I then had to explain to my 6, 9, and 10 year old what the f-word meant. It was a sad day that I had to explain to them what the word was but I have to admit that I took some pride in knowing that they were so old and just now hearing the word.
Ok, so all of this is going through my head as I am in this classroom and wondering if I am doing a disservice to my children by sheltering them too much. When I went home yesterday, I contemplated on this a lot, actually. So I have come to the conclusion that in some ways, I have.
I believe, David and I have done really well at not exposing them to immoral things at such a young age. I don't regret that at all. I think I would regret it if we did this as well as not informing them of things like sex and drugs but we do have those "talks" actually. They are informed by their parents and not at school at the play ground by their peers.
But sheltering them from the injustices of the world isn't healthy. I realize that some are too young to comprehend certain things. And some children, like Hyrum, get scared really easily so you have to take that into consideration as well. But once they get passed that stage, I can't keep sheltering them like I have. They have to know certain things to prepare them for the world they are living in.
So as much as I hate having to talk and tell them about how the world really is, I am going to have to start doing just that. My boys are not so little anymore and I need to treat them that way.
Does parenting ever get any easier?
3 comments:
I am told that it gets harder. I had to explain 9/11 to Lilly yesterday when she asked why 9/11 was important. As she sat watching a few minutes of a documentary about it, it broke my heart that I couldn't keep her innocence about the some of the evils of the world. You're doing a good job.
ditto Marie! Take care of your family, teach them the good and if you do then the bad and ugly we'll be able to endure...")
By the way Alisa, you're looking Great ")
The questions get harder as they get older. Its hard to explain to kids why someone would do some of these things to others. I just try to remind my kids there are really good people around us too. I still shelter my kids as much as I can though. Poor Ethan. He's 12!
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