Love Fiercely

Here I am with a friend and past mentor, Tami Carson at the Pride Festival in Salt Lake City last Saturday night.  We were manning the Utah Foster Care Foundation's booth.  Our goal was to show the LGBTQ+ community and allies that they are very much needed in foster care.  The LGBTQ+ plus children in care are some of our most vulnerable and therefore our hardest to find homes to place them in.  The state of Utah is doing amazing compared to other states as far as people who foster and volunteer.  There are so many caring people in this state who have stepped up to help raise someone else's child.  But when it comes to getting those same people, or others, to open their homes up to LGBTQ+ children, it's not as easy.  Knowing this, I felt honored to represent UFCF on Saturday night.

But the thing is, I was passionate about the LGBTQ+ community long before Saturday night.  Before it even hit close to home, as it did some 4 years ago, I questioned a lot concerning the matter and even voiced it.  Why is that those in the community that follow their heart and desires are deemed as doing something gravely wrong?  I can get into a long explaination on the things I have been taught and the things that I believe are to be true but I fear I will make this long enough as it is.  Why do members of the Church that I attend generally not talk about the matter when the majority of the members I know actually support the community in making their own decisions and living their lives the way they want to?  Why aren't we taking about this more?  I guess some would say that we don't need to "poke the hornet's nest" in bringing these things up but I disagree.  A lot.  When we don't talk of these things, members who are secretly in the community feel shame, alone, and unfortunately often suffer from suicidal ideation as they fear what's not being said...that God doesn't love them for being queer.  

These are just a few questions in my bucket full of questions on the matter.  I am happy to say that I have found answers to a lot of them.  But it has been a long, lonely road in getting to those answers.  And that is not an exaggeration.  I am a friend, wife, mother, leader in my Church, and community member and even though on most days I believe my influence is low on the totem pole in these areas, right now in this moment I know that is not true.  I have felt the great weight of what my influence might mean to others and it scared me.  Especially during those years that I was searching for answers and couldn't find them quick enough.  But I had one thing going for me.  I love fiercely.  I am not passionate about a lot of things but when I become so, I will be bold and I will educate you.  And let me tell you, that is scary!  I'm not a confident teacher but again, when I love fiercely you will hear about my passion on the matter.  So let me make this clear to any one reading this and my future family.  I love the LGBTQ+ community.  I stand for their right in living the life that they choose to live.  I also fight for the Church.  Even when it might be hard to stay in my questions, I will fight for my privilege to be a part of a community of people who are just trying to do what it takes to return to their Father in Heaven again.  I will love feircely, stand and fight for you and for me.