North Star Conference 2023

This was our second year of going to the North Star Conference.  We were only able to go to one day of the conference but we did make a date out of it by going up early Friday night and going to The Leonardo Museum, a cat cafe', dinner, and then stay in the hotel that the conference was being held at.

Here David and I are under one of the exibits.  I think David enjoyed the museum more than I did.  I have never really been that into most art pieces.  Though I do appreciate art in things that I love.  I just don't seem to have the imagination to go outside of that.  I love art in the sense of music or dance!

Tinker's Cat Cafe' was way too warm in the building than my liking.  It was so hot I literally had sweat running down my face.  But that is all I could complain about.  The cats there were from the local animal shelter so this cafe' was helping with getting the cats adopted as well as selling their drinks.  What a wonderful idea and cause!

 We woke up late this morning, unfortunately, and missed the first speaker of Saturday's conference (whom I was really looking forward to speak) but that is ok because the classes we went to were amazing!  I wanted to record some of my favorite things I learned so that I have the notes to look back on one day.

Dr. Christy Kane, PSYD, CMHC

-Trauma is not about the event.  It's about how you record it in the brain.

-She did a study on 8 hugs for 8 seconds a day.  It lowers your stress index, anxiety, and depression.

-Our emotions are never a wrong thing to experience so stop feeling quilty about them when we think of others who seem to have "gone through worse things."  

Vaughn Armstrong

-His bishop once told him, while going through the repentance process, "Don't put more limitations on yourself than I do."

Russ Gaede

-Love is understanding (and the only way you can understand someone is if you are truly listening to them) but understanding is not always agreeing.  

-Join our children where they are at:  Genesis 3:7-10  When the Lord found Adam and Eve naked, after they had partaken of the the forbidden fruit, He did not give up on them and stop loving them.  Instead He joined them where they were by clothing them (vs. 21) and continued to be a presence in their lives.  You can join your LGBTQ+ family members and friends where they are and still be strong in the Gospel!

Dana Huddrik

-Matthew 22: 36-40  Christ made it clear that the greatest commandment was to love God and that second was to love our neighbors.  But in verse 40 He states something that is very important in how we treat all other commandments, "On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."  If we have children or loved ones who don't align with the commandments, we love!  

-You are the only one who can cut the string between you and the other person in a relationship.  Even if they seem to have done so, you do not have to give up.

-It is ok to grieve the loss of your expectations.

-When Alma the elder was praying for his son, he didn't pray that for him to change (like some parents might pray for their children not to have same sex attractions anymore or gender dysphoria), he prayed that he would come to the knowledge of the truth.  We should do the same.  

-For those who fear that if we don't set a loved one straight about LGBTQ+ issues that we will be held responsible for their actions, remember that beating someone over the head with doctrine never brought someone back to the gospel.  Besides, they were raised in the Gospel and have been taught since a young age what the commandments are.  They already know!

Jeni Davis

-When worried about your LGBTQ+ family members, focus on family time.  Focus on the now because the Savior has got you covered for the eternities!  

I wanted to end it on a concept that Vaughn Armstrong was trying to get across in his class.  He was addressing body issues within the LGTBQ+ community but it was not lost on me that Heavenly Father wanted me to know this for myself as well.  Learning to be comfortable in our own bodies, in all their inperfections, is a desire that Heavenly Fathers wants for us.  Hyrum took this picture of me yesterday and when I looked at it, I immediately saw all my imperfections, both in and outside of the picture.  But the things taught about the importance of us loving our bodies in Vaughn's class is still with me as I'm now looking at this picture, and myself in this moment without make up on or my hair fixed, a little differenly now.

American Fork Canyon

Christine had a certain hiking trail, in American Fork Canyon, that she wanted to take me on but it was raining so we decided to go ahead and drive up the canyon and see if there were less "squishier" spots to walk around.

Thank goodness I have a friend who likes to play in the rain because it was totally worth it!

Utah got over 900 inches of snow this winter season.  That melting snow has turned streams into this!

We got out of the van and walked around a few places but we spend the most time at Tibble Fork Reservoir.  

The lowering clouds over the moutains seemed mystic and enchanting.

 And then, no joke, just as we were about to get in the van to head back to our homes, it stopped raining!

Saratoga Springs Utah Temple

Tonight David, Levi, and I went to the Saratoga Springs Temple open house.  Some things didn't work out for the rest of the family to come but honestly, it left room for a lot of reverence where Levi could ask David and I lots of questions about what he was seeing and hearing.

This one is my favorite one.  I love that I was able to catch them, in a picture, talking about the temple.

Levi has been on a spiritual journey for a few months now.  I am so proud of him for getting here by means he devised himself.  Soon after, he started a relationship with Veronica (Niki's daughter...Niki...yep, one of my best friends from high school!) who is now on a mission for the Church.  She is only making him stronger!  She came into his life at a perfect time.  God bless her.  He is determined to be the man the Lord wants him to be.  He is equally set on being the man Veronica deserves.  God bless him!

 

Alpine Poppy Field

Today Ruger and I went on a hike with Stephanie, Kami, and Jace Scott in Alpine at the Lambert Park.  There are poppies scattered around an old homestead, said to have been planted by Mary Alice Cannon, in the early 1900's.

 It threatened to rain, which made for a perfect temperature hike as we explored poppies, the George Cannon Lambert homestead ruins, streams, a random teepee and even saw a snake.

Love Fiercely

Here I am with a friend and past mentor, Tami Carson at the Pride Festival in Salt Lake City last Saturday night.  We were manning the Utah Foster Care Foundation's booth.  Our goal was to show the LGBTQ+ community and allies that they are very much needed in foster care.  The LGBTQ+ plus children in care are some of our most vulnerable and therefore our hardest to find homes to place them in.  The state of Utah is doing amazing compared to other states as far as people who foster and volunteer.  There are so many caring people in this state who have stepped up to help raise someone else's child.  But when it comes to getting those same people, or others, to open their homes up to LGBTQ+ children, it's not as easy.  Knowing this, I felt honored to represent UFCF on Saturday night.

But the thing is, I was passionate about the LGBTQ+ community long before Saturday night.  Before it even hit close to home, as it did some 4 years ago, I questioned a lot concerning the matter and even voiced it.  Why is that those in the community that follow their heart and desires are deemed as doing something gravely wrong?  I can get into a long explaination on the things I have been taught and the things that I believe are to be true but I fear I will make this long enough as it is.  Why do members of the Church that I attend generally not talk about the matter when the majority of the members I know actually support the community in making their own decisions and living their lives the way they want to?  Why aren't we taking about this more?  I guess some would say that we don't need to "poke the hornet's nest" in bringing these things up but I disagree.  A lot.  When we don't talk of these things, members who are secretly in the community feel shame, alone, and unfortunately often suffer from suicidal ideation as they fear what's not being said...that God doesn't love them for being queer.  

These are just a few questions in my bucket full of questions on the matter.  I am happy to say that I have found answers to a lot of them.  But it has been a long, lonely road in getting to those answers.  And that is not an exaggeration.  I am a friend, wife, mother, leader in my Church, and community member and even though on most days I believe my influence is low on the totem pole in these areas, right now in this moment I know that is not true.  I have felt the great weight of what my influence might mean to others and it scared me.  Especially during those years that I was searching for answers and couldn't find them quick enough.  But I had one thing going for me.  I love fiercely.  I am not passionate about a lot of things but when I become so, I will be bold and I will educate you.  And let me tell you, that is scary!  I'm not a confident teacher but again, when I love fiercely you will hear about my passion on the matter.  So let me make this clear to any one reading this and my future family.  I love the LGBTQ+ community.  I stand for their right in living the life that they choose to live.  I also fight for the Church.  Even when it might be hard to stay in my questions, I will fight for my privilege to be a part of a community of people who are just trying to do what it takes to return to their Father in Heaven again.  I will love feircely, stand and fight for you and for me.

 

Whew! Catch up!

I didn't journal all the month of May so here we go!

Hyrum (with Hayden), Ruger, and I met some friends at the Provo Rec Center.

Now that I'm out of school I can volunteer again.  Mine and Ruger's group of kids were excellent in behavior at the Hogle Zoo.  I seriously can't complain one bit.  The weather was great and I didn't lose any kids, so I thinks that's a win!

Months ago I briefly babysat a baby.  One of her binkies were left here and one day Seiiki found it.  She claimed it and it made for an adorable picture!

A couple weeks before school got out, Ruger's school had a fundraiser color run that David, Levi, Ruger, and I went to.  Here Levi and Ruger are wearing each other's shirts.

I'm so grateful I have a family that knows how to have fun!

Christine volunteers at the Ashton Gardens at Thanksgiving Point and gets free passes to events.  She invited me to lunch and the tulip festival to celebrate my graduation.

I love it when Levi and David do projects for people we know because sometimes I get random pictures, like this one, showing me them at work.

School is out now so our weekly hikes and swimming has started.  Ruger found a fun little swing on one of our walks.

Ok, this was all brief but life is good and I know I am blessed.  That's all I really need to express, right?!