I feel I do good by David and the boys on their birthdays. I make sure they are memorable in experiences for the boys and gifts for David. I put a lot of effort into making sure they are special, probably because my parents always did the same for me growing up. I realized I was behind in this journal and needed to document David's birthday. So I look for the pictures from his birthday and all I find is this picture. It shows the gift I gave him (customized beanie and hoodie with his company's logo). While I did research on the best way to display his company on clothing I knew he'd wear to work, I couldn't remember much else about the picture. I had to really think hard to remember that he and I were at the Olive Garden celebrating his birthday. Did I even get him a cake? Why couldn't I remember? Oh yeah...that was a tough week emotionally. I'm good now but I sure wish I remembered more about my time spent with him the night of his birthday last month. Because he is my world. He truly is. I was reminded of that tonight as I was texting back and forth with a friend whose husband is in the hospital in the ICU. I don't want to think of my life without him. My mind wanders off to my boys and strangely goes to thinking about them leaving the house one day to start their own lives on their own or with their own families. Their own families...boys seem to follow the wife. As it should be. But I have all boys. No girls to stay close knit with their mother. But oddly enough, this thought didn't make me sad. Maybe it was because of the way my thoughts got me here but even as I was thinking of my boys leaving, I was thinking about how I would always have David at home. I would always have David to talk to, laugh alongside, and have deep conversations with. And while it is natural for my boys to leave, it will never be so with David. Even on my rough weeks when I forget almost everything about what we did for a birthday. He will always remember me.
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