Our Last RAMP Saturday

Yesterday was our last RAMP Saturday.  We sure have appreciated the county providing these free activities on Saturdays throughout the summer.  This time it was just Hyrum and I that went.  I love doing things as a whole family but it sure was nice to have alone time with him.  It just seemed like he talked my ear off, I guess because he had my full attention. I really enjoyed it.

 We went to the Ogden Eccles Dinosaur Park.

 We made a craft, played on the playground area, did lots of walking to see the different dinosaurs on display and just had fun.  I think Hyrum's favorite part was going inside one of the buildings.  They had all kinds of rocks and minerals on display and he was determined to find diamonds.  When he finally did, I had to pry him away!

 When we got home, a necklace that I had ordered had come through the mail.  It only cost me shipping and as you can see from the picture, I LOVE IT!

Sooner Fans in Utah

Today was the first day back to school for the boys.  

Levi - 6th grade

Brigham - 5th grade

Hyrum - 2nd grade

This was a new school for them.  I want to say, "Poor kids..." but it just doesn't seem to phase them anymore.  I don't know, maybe it does and they hide it.  But something did feel very home-ish as we were walking to their classrooms.  The school has a program that encourages the kids to go to college by doing certain academic things.  There are contests between classes and grades and each one has their own college that they represent.  None are the same.  It was SO cool to come across this classroom that had picked the OU Sooners!  I haven't talked to this teacher yet, but I am going to see if she has any ties from back home.  Oh, and Brigham just happened to be wearing his OU shirt.  

So, I think all went well for the boys.  They seemed to be in good moods after school.  I can't believe Levi is in 6th grade.  If we were back home he would be in Middle School and that is just too weird for me to think about. 

Our Summer Activities/Achievements

Tonight was Washington Terrace Elementary's open house.  As David and I were meeting all the new teachers, my mind kept thinking about things we have done over the summer as well as a huge accomplishment for myself.  So here come some pictures!

 There was so much friend time!  I am used to neighborhood kids coming into our home.  It has been like that for years now but holy cow did it jump up a notch or two this summer!  But I loved it.  I really did.

 The school had free lunches for anyone under 18.

 Daddy helped the boys build a lemonade stand.

David had a lot of projects he did outside and I would often see Levi helping him...without Daddy asking him!

And for the big reveal for me...I have officially lost 50 pounds since leaving Oklahoma!  It has been a long 2 1/2 years in the making but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.  The only reason I can say that is because I know that it only happened because I was getting stronger and stronger mentally.  I truly believe that is why I have been so successful.  Yes, it has taken me 2 1/2 years but not once during that time frame did I gain anything.  No yo-yoing.  That's because I wasn't just getting my physical body healthy.  And this is how I know I will continue to keep it off.

What I want you to know

With the passing, through suicide, of the comedian Robin Williams, much attention has been brought to the media surface of depression.  If Robin left anything more than happiness through his comedy, I hope it is the awareness of mental illness.  

Maybe it's the phrase "mental illness" that makes people not want to face reality.  Maybe we need to only call it depression.  Maybe it wouldn't change a thing either way because ultimately most of us are ashamed that we or our loved ones can't control our/their moods or feelings.  Maybe we are tired of people telling us that it is "all in our heads."  That we could be happy if we just thought positive thoughts.

But we are screaming, "Really?  Just think positive thoughts?  Wow!  Why didn't I ever think of that?!"  And in our minds we hear exactly that - only sarcastically.  The irony is that we are screaming in our heads, that it isn't all in our heads!  But in reality, it is.  Depression is a real medical condition.  Our brains are not wired like the average "normal" person.

So let me tell you what a depressed person is...actually is!  Not what a "normal" brained person may think.

We are sad.  We hurt.  We cry one minute and can't feel a thing the next.  Some of us are angry.  Some of us cower in whatever we are labeled in the moment.  Does it sound familiar?  No, I am not going to diagnose you with depression and tell you to take a certain pill that works for me.  However, chances are, a normal brained human is reading this and thinking that they have those same issues at times.  And when they feel those same exact things, they can make themselves think positively and before they know it, they are back to reality.

Well, good for you.  No seriously, good for you!  If you could somehow put that awesomeness in a pill, you would be a billionaire and we would praise you.  But again, the reality is that we just don't have your "normal" brain.  

But you know what?  Even though we may not be able to turn off negative thoughts like you can, we are still loving human beings.  And that is what I want you to know about us.  Not just that we are sad.  Or that we hurt and cry a lot.  Or that we can be walking contradictions and not feel anything at all.  I want you to know that after the medication, therapy or just through the grace of God, when we seem normal again...we are not.  We are not because we will always feel things differently than you.  We have been through hell and came back.  And we know that more than likely, a short distance away, we are going to find ourselves in that same situation - fear, sadness, anger or feeling nothing at all.

But the huge, wonderful, amazing thing that comes out of depression are those in between stages.

Because we know debilitating pain, we love deeply.  We have empathy.  There is no sympathizing with us.  We hear the cries of suicide and take it seriously.  And that is where our deep love comes in.  We have had those horrible thoughts and though we may know they are irrational, we feel a need to help in any way we can.  Even to a stranger because these depressive thoughts are real!

I used to say that I would never wish depression on anybody.  I don't know, maybe a part of me still says that.  But I can now say that a bigger part of me says that depression has blessed my life.  I am more compassionate than I was before and that I would wish for anybody.

Free Pool Stuff

The last couple of weekends the RAMP program has offered free swimming to the residents of Weber County.  We have loved this!

 

 Here Daddy is catching Hyrum coming out of one of the tunnel slides at Lorin Farr Pool.

Here Levi is coming out of the slide at the North Shore Aquatic Center.

 

 

And here is Daddy pooped after these active weekends :)