I don't think of Ruger's birth Mom a lot. Don't get me wrong, I occasionally do but not like I did when we first adopted Ruger. Maybe it's because I don't often think of him being adopted anymore. I used to be really conscious of it; so afraid we'd do or say something wrong. Fearing we'd ever trigger thoughts of him not feeling like he was a permanent part of our family. Now, I'm more relaxed and so all this stuff just doesn't enter my mind as much.
But I'm thinking of her tonight, on her firstborn child's birthday. Wondering if she's cried today. Wondering if she has forgiven herself.
As I think of her, of course I can't help but think of our blessing that came out of her pain. Gosh, I hope she has forgiven herself because her boy is fiercely loved. And he loyally loves back!
Here is a picture of Ruger with Leo, a neighbor friend, who is only 2. Ruger doesn't care that he is 2 and still in diapers. He just loves Leo! That is just Ruger for you. He wants to be everyone's friend.
Leo and Ruger went to Coconut Cove for Ruger's birthday last night. It's hard celebrating his birthday so close to Thanksgiving and during a pandemic. But it worked out nicely for us because Ruger doesn't care about how many people show up. He just wants to play!
One of Ruger's best buds is his cousin Stephen. He truly loves Stephen. I mean LOVES him! I wouldn't be surprised if seeing Stephen on his birthday actually was his birthday present in his eyes.
Right now Ruger loves Taco Salad, children YouTubers, Seiiki, hanging out with just about any of our neighbors (and that's including the adults!), loves his Daddy the most, thinks farting is the funniest thing ever, and is the life of every party he comes into contact with. People just love Ruger. They really do. He is at an age where his antics don't drive me crazy anymore. I don't need breaks like I used to. He makes Daddy feel so good about himself as he watches Ruger and I fighting to get to his car first, every Friday, to see who can touch Daddy before the other. He's smart. He's still incredibly active but is finally learning to control some of those impulses that used to get him into trouble. All in all, Ruger is just a loved and loving kid.
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