Exhausted

 I find this picture describing my life lately.

A little bit of chaos but mostly just exhausted from cleaning up the chaos.  And I don't just mean cleaning up after Ruger.  I seem to be doing that well actually.  In fact, I took this picture to show a friend that my house isn't always clean.  I did this because she came over one day, during Ruger's nap, and what she saw was a completely cleaned up house.  But what she didn't know is that THIS is what it looks like when Ruger is awake! 

I sent her this picture to show her what the house normally looks like when Ruger is in his Category 5 hurricane level.  Which reminds me of a few Sundays ago.  I went into the library at church to say hi to a friend before I needed to get to class.  She asked me how my little hurricane was doing.  I told her that he was actually at home at only tropical storm strength, dealing with croup.  But I had no doubt that he would be at category 5 strength before we knew it!

And just like I am getting distracted with other stories, other than the real reason I got on to journal...well, that is my life!  Like this picture.  A little bit of chaos from the outside but mainly just exhausted mentally and physically.  Because I easily get distracted.

I have the most active toddler that I have ever been around.  Literally.  I have sooooo many stories that I could share.  But I would just look like a bad parent if I did that.  You know...like that one time that he found a knife (nope, can't even leave a knife in the sink where you are positive that he couldn't reach.  Because, trust me, he can!) 

And then I have these older kids.  I just worry about Ruger staying alive.  It's physical.  All.  Day.  Long.  But with the older boys, I worry in my head.  Hyrum, its weekly physical therapy (for his toe walking) and occupational therapy (for his ADD) and trying to make sure that he is applying it in his everyday life.  Brigham, its worrying about him adjusting to junior high and him not handling well all that he is being exposed to.  I worry the most about this.  A lot.   Levi, it's him turing in his homework (but really, if that is all I have to worry about with him, I'll take it!).  

I'm taking this parenting class that the elementary school is providing and it is so interesting to me all these stages these moms are in.  But I'm the only one that is in toddler, child, and teenager stage.  It is a weird stage to be in.  It really is.  And it's exhausting.

But then I have moments like these.

Or I just need a break and find a picture like this on my phone just when I need it!

Or those precious moments when the boys are taking care of each other.  

Which makes it a lot easier to do a simple homemade Valentine's gift for Hyrum's classmates; knowing that Ruger just might not harm himself or someone else if I'm gone for just a little bit doing something else.

And then I go to bed feeling like maybe I'm doing alright after all.