Wilkerson Farm

Last week Ruger and I went with some neighbors (Maleena, Matt, and Leo Lau) to the Wilkerson Farm.  Pretty much every year we take the kids to some kind of pumpkin patch type of place but this year I thought it was probably time I stop getting my older ones to go...I mean, Levi is 18!  

We usually try to go to different pumpkin patches and this one was quite the find!  It wasn't the typical pumpkins, corn field maze, and tractor rides.  It also had food trucks and rides...like carnival rides!

Mom sent me some candy corn earrings for Halloween so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to wear them!

Thanksgiving Point Experiences

Christine and Mike West have a family pass to Thanksgiving Point and have access to a limited amount of free passes.  Christine is so good to us and takes us to some of their exhibits.  So far we have enjoyed the Tulip Festival, the Museum of Natural Curosity, and the Butterfly Biosphere.  On our last visit together, Christine and I realized that this year marks our 20th year of friendship!  I truly am grateful for her kind, giving personality that has influenced my life for good.

"Girl"friend Weekend

On the same weekend in September, Hyrum and Levi had some pretty fun things to do with their "girl"friends.

Hyrum and Leia went to Salt Lake's Comic Con.

Leia was Shoto Todoroki and Hyrum was a plague doctor.

Even thought Levi is not in high school anymore, he has some friends who are.  So he took Monica to the Mountain View High School homecoming dance.

Of course I wasn't there for either of the events but both Hyrum and Levi seemed to have had a wonderful time.

 

Leia's Quinceanera

Leia's Quinceanera was on August 13th.  No one in our family had ever been to a Quinceanera before so to be able to go to our first for Leia was pretty darn cool.  Add that it was the coolest party that I personally have ever been too put it down in the records for me!

Leia was presented and I immediatley started to tear up.  She is truly a blessing to me.  She's special because she is this sweet girl that I love to be near but even more so, she is the girl who just "gets" Hyrum.  She is the whole package and I felt all the feelings when she walked in that big room in her beautiful white dress.  She danced with her step-Dad, which was adorable to watch.  Then came the time where the men/boys in the room is supposed to steal her away in their own dance.  Hyrum had been prepared for this but as prepared as he was, he was so nervous!  He was just about to get up when Leia's sweet Mom, Carolina, walked over to Hyrum to tell him that the song was getting close to being over with.  That meant the world to me because I knew she was doing it because it was important to Leia too!  So Hyrum got up and everyone in the room went a little wild!  There was so much cheering and then I lost it!  The tears could not be held back this time.

There was beautiful singing, Leia performing dances, dinner, photo booths, and so much dancing!

When it was time for us to leave, Hyrum told Leia goodbye.  We were just at the door when Leia came running to Hyrum and had to give him one last hug.  Oh, how she melts my heart!

Just some more pictures from the night.

When I began this post with saying that this was the coolest party that I had ever been to, I was not exaggerating.  I may not have gotten up and danced much (I had seriously hurt my side earlier that day) but it had the most entergetic feeling througout the night.  If it was that memorable for me, I can only imagine how it was for Leia and her family.

Truth Bubbles

A friend of mine, Valerie Comstock, had put the picture below on Facebook with a comment about using/playing with these growing up.  You know, one of those things lost to the young generation of today.  I made a comment about how much Ruger probably would have loved it.  Nanny and Poppy saw it and that was all it took.

Within a few days, a package came in the mail!  I know Grandparents are "present" in their own ways.  My parents live states away and so to be present to them sometimes means sending cute little packages like this...and I'm so grateful.  I was even able to make a Family Home Evening lesson out of it by teaching about truth.

It was a good evening.

 

My Hope

 

It’s coming up on September and for the last few years something I have looked forward to in this month is the walks, fundraisers, and media attention that it gets from being the Suicide Prevention Awareness month.  Mental health issues and suicidal ideation are unfortunately something my immediate and extended families deal with all too often.  It is truly the worst thing that I can think of that any soul will ever have to deal with. 

I believe hope is one of the key factors in surviving it.  Maybe it's hope in what the future may hold.  Maybe it’s in having hope that your family still needs you.  Maybe it's hope that a new medication or therapy might work.  These “hopes” work for some people and I’m grateful they do but do you want to know what hope looks like for me?  I have a hope in something that not everyone believes in.  That is their choice, and while this may sound dramatic, this hope is a matter of life or death for some people dealing with mental health issues.  That hope is in a future day when our bodies are resurrected and not just physically made perfect but, most importantly to me at least, our minds are made whole.

Psalms 31:12 and 34:18 says, “I am like a broken vessel…The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart…”  Often when we speak of love or things we truly believe in or even when hurting, we refer to our heart.  After reading that scripture I couldn’t help but relate it to mental health or the "heart" as our minds. Then I thought about the word nigh.  It's as if something is close but not quite where you are.  I don’t know how many times I have heard people who suffer from depression or anxiety say that when they are at their lowest, it’s hard to feel the Spirit.  There are some interesting studies done on the parts of the brain that are activated when having a spiritual experience vs. depression.  Needless to say, when I learned this, the hope that I lean on is even more relevant.

But I also know that these things that I deeply struggle with are also what made me, me.  I beat myself up for all that I lack just like anyone else but if I could give myself one compliment, it would be my ability to sense sadness in others.  And I ache for them at times.  Enough that I am willing and have often done my very best to help them in their times of need.    I am by far, not perfect in this but I can honestly say that I really do try harder in this than in most things in my life.

So if mental health issues are a huge part of what made me, me and I have faith in a Father in Heaven who loves me no matter what, that must mean that he loves “broken” things like spoken of in Psalms.  A dear friend, Rose Rowberry, sent me a quote today from a book that she is reading.  I read it several times and knew I had to journal about this subject today.  Jeffrey R. Holland said,

“Sometimes the events of life can damage our highest hopes and dreams.  Some of our sweetest possessions and most cherished ideals end up being bruised, and sometimes they are broken…It may be that among all the broken things God loves, He loves a broken heart most of all.”  After speaking of examples of broken things that actually end up leading to nourishment and growth he said, “…through the great miracle of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He will give your heart back to you healed and whole.  That is the ultimate truth taught by the Resurrection.  Christ, the Great Healer, will make recompense for us in time and in eternity.  By His grace and the goodness of God, all broken vessels are fully repaired.”

I have made this entry long enough so I will just end it with something else this wise men once testified of.  Elder Holland’s testimony is that of my own hope that I lean on.  “I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.”  Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of another,” I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Back to School, Baby!

The 3 youngest boys went back to school today.  I was definitely aware of Levi not being there but oddly enough, it didn't make me sad or feel like something was out of place.

Ruger is now in 1st grade which means he is in school all day this year...which also means that Mommy can go to school full time next month!

Hyrum is in 9th grade this year.  If we were in Oklahoma, he would be in the High School building but he is still in JR High here.  I think it is weird that they do that here in Utah but I'm also grateful.  Hyrum can stay a little younger in my eyes by staying in JR High.

Brigham is our Senior.  Not the typical Senior you think of, boasting down the halls of his presence while soaking in every moment of this notorious year of play.  No, he's quietly just getting his classes done that will let him graduate while adding on a few AP classes (college credit) to get him further ahead, faster.

Just a fun picture to end with.  I think it is a good sign that Ruger's teacher (Holladay) made a silly face right along with Ruger.  I'm thinking she will be a good fit for our little guy.