The Adams Family...snap, snap...: Adoption Day!

Throughout our journey of fostering/adopting Ruger, a lot of neat things have happened along the way. One of them was meeting the lady who took our pictures the day of Ruger's adoption. Her name is Sherri and she taught me patience as our family was in limbo as to what would happen with Ruger. I met Sherri through Hyrum. Last school year, Hyrum quickly became friends with Sherri's son, Brooklyn. He soon wanted to set up a play date, which is when I met Sherri. We met at a park and as Sherri and I got to know one another, I found out that Brooklyn used to be a foster child. It is a long story, and theirs is a little different than ours because it is kinship (Kinship is a form of Foster Care. It is through family. So Brooklyn was related to Sherri's husband, which made them Kinship. Most of the rules are the same but there is a little more leeway if the fostering is through Kinship) but it was such a blessing to get to know her side of the Foster Care process.

At this point of fostering Ruger, there was this fear that he would be taken away if someone came forward that would be considered Kinship. Kinship almost always will get the child in a case like ours; as long as that kinship is in good standing with the law and such. So we were constantly afraid someone would come forward. Foster Care is all about keeping families together and I know that. And I believe in that. But having that knowledge is still very hard to accept when you have fallen absolutely in love with a child. A child you know fits in your family as if you had given birth to that child.

I was so grateful for her insight, however. It humanized the situation for me. A possible Kinship situation seemed more of an understanding than a, "you are taking my baby away from me and he doesn't know you" kind of a thing. It made me realize some things. What if 10 years down the road someone from DCFS comes to me and tells me that one of my sons had fathered a child that he never knew about and that that child was in Foster Care. But that child was in someone else's home. He was in a foster home and that they loved him very much. Would I fight for that child? I have no idea where I will be in my life 10 years from now but I know that if it were to happen today, I have no doubt I would fight for that child! Sherri helped me to see the other side and to have more compassion. To be more understanding. It was a realization that I didn't want to have, honestly, but it was something I needed to recognize. I am truly grateful that we were never faced with a Kinship situation, however, because November 17th came along and "Baby R" is now Baby Joseph David Ruger Adams!

Sherri met us at the Ogden Utah temple and began taking our pictures there about an hour before the adoption took place. I wanted to get pictures taken there because the following Saturday we would be sealed there.

I keep hearing people say over and over how Ruger physically just fits in our family and I think these pictures prove it.

After the pictures we left for the 2nd District Juvenile Court and were blessed with many friends to support us there.

This is Dani and Necha outside of the courthouse. Necha (the one holding Ruger) was Ruger's social worker for the first half of it before she moved. Just as her smile suggests, she was so sweet through the beginning when I doubted some things. She comforted me when I literally came crying to her about my fears of him being taken away but she was honest with me enough to let me know that there were no guarantees until the very end. Dani handled things differently than Necha. She has been doing this for a lot longer and didn't coddle Ruger's birth mom at all. At times, I'm sure, it seemed hard but I also think it was a wake up call to her. I think that with Necha, Ruger's birth mom was given every chance possible with extras. Then it came time to switch things up with Dani and Ruger's birth mom got to see the hard reality of it all. Looking back at it all, I think both were necessary. She truly had every chance possible given to her through DCFS and then she was given the reality of it all in a different way. A way that would show her that without people doing things for her, well, that this is the way it truly would be.