He will save us

In December of 2014, a perfect baby boy was placed into our home.  He was detoxing from drugs (and we think alcohol, though we can't prove it).  Within a month he was diagnosed with Harlequin Syndrome and had to have surgery for Pyloric Stenosis.  That, to most people, wouldn't describe the "perfect baby" but if you were to witness how calm he was considering what he was born into, you'd understand.  He continued to be that perfect baby until about 10 months old...when he turned into a walking terror but that's another story!  But I will say that I wondered for a while why in the world he just seemed to change so dramatically right after learning how to walk.  And I think it has to do with him not physically feeling things the same way as most people do.  It makes sense to me now why he rarely cried as a baby.  And why now, he is at full speed at all times now.  I think he doesn't fear things because he doesn't feel things like I wished he did.  Hence all his bruises and ability to do anything fearlessly because he doesn't understand consequences.  I think that before he could walk, he didn't know he could do whatever he wanted.  I never realized, until Ruger, how much little children learn from pain. It is one of the things that teaches them to stop doing something.  They learn from the consequence of physical pain.

Which makes me think of what I wanted to share.  Last Saturday, David and I were able to go to an adult session of Stake Conference.  I couldn't even tell you the last time we went together.  Usually only one of us goes while the other stays home with the kids.  It sure is nice having older boys that we can trust to take care of the little ones.

There was a member of the 70 that spoke to us that night.  I think his name was Elder Peterson.  He told us about how his wife came to him (when their youngest at the time was 7 years old...Hyrum was 7 when Ruger came into our lives) one day and said that they needed to do something about the orphans in Romania.  Elder Peterson was confused and not sure what they could really do being here in America.  Well, they ended up flying over there and one of their ways through the doors of an orphanage was because of his work.  His work had donated thousands of dollars to help this orphanage get a boiler.  This orphanage was not expecting them and refused to let them in until he made it clear that he worked for this company that had donated so much.  They reluctantly let them in.  He spoke of having to go through a room where there were many cribs crammed into a room with more than one baby in these cribs.  They were covered in urine and feces.  He said that as he was walking by one crib this tiny little hand reached out and wrapped itself around one of his fingers.  He spoke of how hard it was at that moment to keep it together and after prying this baby's hand off of his finger, he had to leave.  He couldn't stand staying in that room any longer.

When he got out into the halls he said that he asked Heavenly Father how He could let something like this happen to innocent babies.   I'm so grateful he shared the following experience.

He said he heard the Spirit tell him that He knew what was happening.  That He had been walking those very same halls.  He said that he instantly felt as if he needed to take off his shoes because he was actually in a very sacred place.

Can you imagine that?  A disgusting building where innocent children were not being taken care of?  Sacred?

I can't help but wonder how many times we miss important spiritual opportunities because we are too busy blaming God.  I know I've done it.  I did it for a long time while we lived in Oklahoma this last time.  It took me years to get passed, "What did I do wrong?" that lead to "There is no way a loving God would let so much hurt into someone's heart."  I blamed myself for it and then I blamed myself for believing in a God who wasn't listening.  Yet here I am today with an assurity, because of those exact experiences, that He truly does let things happen for OUR good.  And for the good of others.

I have a friend here who I am in close contact with because I can't let go of her hurt.  I won't.  She is in that dark spot where she feels not worthy of the things that she knows she has.  If I hadn't been through what I have been through, this friend of mine would be just another burden in life.  Someone who is always negative.  But because of what I have been through, I know she is anything but a burden.  She is God's child.  She is my sister.  And she is worth being saved.  Just like Ruger was worth being saved from his biological mother.  Just like those babies in Romania.

He will save us all if we accept His help.  And He'll do it in the best way that will prepare us for the life to come after this one.