So many lessons learned...

On Sunday, some friends (The Castle family) from church brought over some goodies to Levi and then the Stevenson family invited us over for dinner with some Pie Face game time.

 Once again, we were blessed with distractions while waiting on the phone call for the consultation. 

Peggy sent us home with a movie called, "Once I was a Beehive."  We decided we would watch it tonight for Family Home Evening.

 

I had Daddy and the boys start the movie while I made the frosting for the cake we were going to eat afterwards.  Just as I was finishing up, I hear David come up the stairs.  He said, "Did Peggy tell you that the Dad dies just a few months after discovering he has a tumor?"  Both him and I were just floored.  I didn't even know what to say.  The damage was done.  Levi was downstairs watching the movie.  This was doing anything but distracting Levi now. 

 

It is so interesting to me how things in life don't turn out the way you expect it though.  David had the instant reaction of protection.  Even as far as being upset with Peggy sending us home with this movie.  At first I was just shocked.  Crap, now what do we do?  Then I was surprised that she hadn't caught that.  Because I know Peggy.  She would NEVER want to hurt Levi.  Never!

 

So David went back downstairs with the boys and I quickly called Levi up.  First I apologized.  Made sure that he knew that I didn't know that the Dad died that way in the movie.  But he smiled.  The same boy that was in tears, on our living room couch, when we told him that the radiologist thought it was a tumor.  The same boy who immediately started asking about cancer and wanted to know facts, percentages, and all outcomes possible.  But then made it clear to us that he didn't want to be reminded of it anymore. 

 

That same boy of ours, about 2 days later, then brought me to tears!  He told me it was ok because when the movie said that the Dad knew that his cancer was all a part of a bigger plan he decided right then that that was how he was going to look at it now.  He then told me that he would see it that way even if his tumor was cancer and spread throughout his body.  My 13 year old said that!  With all the wisdom of a spiritual giant he put me in my fearful place.

 

After the movie was over I told David.  Through his teary eyes he told me that it took him half of the movie to get past the fact that our son had just been exposed to a movie that started with a man dying of a cancerous tumor. Then David trying to remind himself that it could very well have been him that did that to someone else; not even realizing it. 

We all make mistakes.

 

That's when I shared with him something I had forgotten about.  When Shane died we drove to Oklahoma for his funeral.  Mom was not handling it very well.  Well, no one was but we wanted to try to get her mind off of it.  So we decided to have a girls night at April's house.  We decided to watch "Raise Your Voice."  I had already seen the movie.  But had totally forgotten that the brother dies in a car accident.  It even showed the car accident in the movie.  I was so mad at myself when we watched that movie.  I couldn't believe I had just helped choose a movie, a movie that was suppose to take our mom's mind off of Shane's death, that showed a son getting killed the same way that Shane had died.

 

I feel like I have learned a lot of lessons today.  My son, the movie itself, and also being reminded of what a dear friend of mine did for our family earlier in the day.  Oh yeah, and my Dad's response to it.

 

I have a friend, Brandy, from high school that gave us an amazing gift.  She has offered to fly my Dad here for Levi's surgery.  She is a Godly woman and it shouldn't have surprised me at all when she offered.  But really, who wants to fully accept such a great gift?  Writing that last sentence sounds foolish because really, who wouldn't want to accept such a great gift, right?  But this is my friend and flying is not cheap.  It felt like taking money right out of her hand. 

 

But Brandy made it clear to me that it was God's money.  And my Dad's response? "I'm not going to turn down the chance to be with my family."  Am I really that proud of a person?  Can I not accept the huge blessing of seeing my father?  Of my children getting to spend one on one time with their playful grandfather? 

 

Again, I feel like I have learned so many lessons today.  I am truly blessed.