Safe Haven

I have really been enjoying my calling in Primary (Sunday school for children) this go around.  It seems I almost always am called in Primary.  I would rather just go to classes but being an active member of our church, well, that just isn't going to happen.  They are going to snatch you up as soon as possible into a calling.  But I have said for some time now, if I am going to get a calling please let it be in Primary.  

Interesting enough, though, we were here for almost 3 months before I even got this calling.  That is, by far, the longest I have went without being asked to a calling once moving into a new ward (church).  David still hasn't been called.  Though he might as well have been because he always helps in my class.  I sure do love him for that.

Anyways, the reason I bring Primary up is because even though I am most comfortable in there than in other callings (Besides the one time I was called into Young Women's in Grove, OK.  That was just all around special.  Those girls really felt like family.  I guess that is what happens when you grow up around most of their parents :), I have to admit that I don't always feel the spirit in there.  At least not the strong, powerful feelings that sometimes come with the spirit.  Granted, it seems I am almost always put into Jr. Primary, and the whole time I seem to be just trying to get my class (or Hyrum in the row in front or behind my class....or sometimes in my class) to be still and listen.

This time I am in Sr. Primary and I am loving it.  It is so quiet in there.  I have felt the spirit multiple times in there.  And when we separate into classes and it is my turn to teach just the 8-9 year olds, I feel like I am growing spiritually.  I will study before hand but on a couple of occations, while teaching, I have came across something in the manual or scriptures and something new will come into my mind.  It will be as clear as only knowledge can be and I will feel the spirit fill me up knowing that the Lord doesn't just want me to teach these little ones, but wants me to grow as well.

 So I have been having these great insights in Primary since moving here.  Sacrament meeting has been the usual.  It gets better and better as the kids grow up.  They can stay quiet longer and so I feel like I can actually listen.  But this last Sunday was just so good.  Brother Simpson shared some ideas on keeping our homes spiritually safe.  He used the words, "Safe Haven."  I often use this phrase when describing our home.  Not that it is a perfect save haven, but that it is something I truly strive for.  It is why I am so picky about all entertainment that is brought into our home.  It is why David and I don't yell at each other, ever.  It is why we don't curse.

I teared up as I listened to all the wonderful things this man was suggesting should be done in a Christ centered home.  I felt so good and I didn't know why until David leaned over and whispered in my ear that this is why he loves me so much.  That I take so seriously the safety of our home.

And then it hit me.  I have felt some guilt for not being the ideal housewife.  Before Oklahoma, I had to have the house cleaned almost always.  Wait...funny memory.  One time we were visiting Oklahoma while we were living in Idaho at the time.  We were over at April and Elton's house and I was cleaning.  Everytime we visit Oklahoma, we stay with the Moore Family and so to pay them back I usually like to cook for them or clean.  Just to give you an idea of how much of a clean fanatic I used to be, Elton came into the room I was cleaning and said something like, "I'm sure glad you came all this way to spend time with us while cleaning the whole time."

Ok, so back to what I realized.  So I used to always have a clean home and I cooked a lot.  Not always, but a lot.  Fast forward.  I am now the housewife that yes, volunteers a lot in the boy's classrooms, but other than that I don't feel like I do what a typical housewife should do.  I try to clean but it is hard now having older kids with lots of stuff in a tiny apartment.  I try to cook every night but there are a lot of times that I make it real easy and it is pizza (and I don't mean home-made) or spaghetti.  I rarely craft anymore.  

I am surrounded by so many stay at home friends who seem to be so talented in just about anything homemade...as well as their houses being clean.  That just isn't me anymore and it has been that way since Oklahoma.  That's a long time.  Here and there I feel guilty about it.  But when David whispered to me what he did, at that moment I knew I was ok.  I was more than ok.  So for 5 or so years, as I have felt nudges of guilt here and there, I finally see it.  I have put the right priorities first.  Those other things can come later.

My home is a Safe Haven from the world.