Believing and Knowing

Not very long ago I had a conversation with David about my doubts.  There is very little in this life that I can truly say that I know.  I’m not sure how old I was but I remember once in the Grove branch a certain testimony that was given by Sister Domurath.  She spoke of her feelings for the song, “I Believe in Christ.”  She said something to the effect that it kind of bothered her that it says, “I believe in Christ” instead of saying, “I know Christ lives” or something that sounded more sure.  At the time, I thought it was a new and insightful way of looking at, not only the song, but also the way we proclaim what we believe or know to be true.  And though I still respect that testimony today, I can’t say that I agree with it for myself.  There have been so many things in my life that have made it hard for me to say that I “know” certain things anymore.  I am also overly open minded which leads to too many possibilities to say that one could actually ever know anything.  The world would say that is one of the best traits a person can have, but I don’t see it that way.  Being too open minded leads in the direction of being naive in a lot of things because of being persuaded so easily.  It also leads to a lot of fence sitting.  I am, unfortunately, guilty of both.

Having said all of this, I can say that I know I have experienced some of the most powerful Priesthood blessings.  Not only have I experienced them, but I know them to be true.  Struggles and heartaches in my life have led to mistrust in certain things, people, and beliefs but never that in Priesthood blessings.  I know so many people who find it hard to ask for them.  It is one area in my life that I just don’t doubt.  My father readily gave me Priesthood blessings growing up that gave me that initial love for them.  Then I had college experiences, where the men giving them to me could have never known the things that they said other than that it came from God himself.  Then I married a man who is the Joseph of blessings.  Just as Joseph, in the bible, was such an accurate and honest foreteller of things to come, David is also so humble in it all.  He would NEVER say this of himself but I have felt the spirit so many times in the most powerful of ways when he is telling me what my Father in Heaven wants me to know. 

Tonight I had one of those wonderful experiences and I don’t want to forget it.  So here I am, in my words, telling myself what to do when things get hard and I start to forget.

Alisa, listen to your husband.  He loves you.  He knows you.  And he listens to the spirit of the Lord.  Have faith that you and David are to look to the future as if you are to plant your family in a solid place.  Remember this when thinking of the future and the home you want to create.  Be patient with your children.  Love them.  There will be a reunion on the other side and we will ALL be there.  Isn’t that all that matters?